My angel is back

Yesterday was a good day because I received a text from one of my closest friend. I often refer her as my angel because of the way we met. We have been friend for a number of years now and I had not heard from her since the beginning of the year so when I saw her text, tears came rolling down my cheeks as I honestly thought she had finally forgotten about me since we live away from each other. And she is such a precious friend... She had no idea about the great job I had then lost, about the great boyfriend I had then lost, that I had to move out of my little mansion to a house where my fridge can’t even pass through the doors so it has to stay on the patio… and so on so on… But her main worry was the fact that I was in Sydney, by myself. She actually offered to pay for my ticket to fly me back home lol she is a sweetheart :) I explained to her what had happened since the last time I saw her and that being in Sydney was probably the break I needed to get my life sorted, time to think about myself and analyse everything that had happened. Of course third party opinions are always welcome :) On Sunday night, Paul said to me that I was not giving away anything and was probably sending out the wrong message when going on a date… Well that explains a lot now!!! And my Angel agreed: “I have seen you argued with Patrick (ex-husband) 100s of time but you never actually expressed how you felt… I am probably the only person to whom you will express your feelings, I have never seen you talk to anyone else like you talk to me, so how are they supposed to know how you feel if you don’t actually say it?” Ok, point taken. From a conversation with a guy on msn, he said that maybe guys were intimidated by me. And yes I also used to think that and as my personal message at some point on msn I was using words from a Veronicas’ song: “Don’t try to hate me coz am so popular. Most guys I dated got intimidated so now I date up.” Now I actually think that I am the one who is actually intimidated especially if I like the guy… and although I am not entirely sure but I think that is what happened with Mr Navy Guy… :( It is not an unbreakable barrier though as for instance I would not have gone out with Chris if he had not made the first move. Not that there was anything wrong with him but i do know myself -sometimes... lol Of course I still need some sort of connection for anything to happen further and I don’t know if he just took a chance with me thinking I might slap him or he just knew that I would positively respond… and am glad he did...