August 1

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Second date: 3 mistakes to avoid

By Prisqua

August 1, 2008

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I met this guy through RSVP.  He emailed me and started to chat through msn. We hit it off straight away. He was handsome, tall, athletic, an interesting job, a child, did not want anymore children, lots in common... just perfect or so it seems! Finally I had a date! Yay! First mistake: before we even set a date I had told him that I would never move from the Sunshine Coast. We were used to chat and texting everyday until a few  days before the date, I did not hear from him at all.  I actually got worried because of the nature his job and thought that something might have happened to him. When I finally got hold of him, he apologised and said that he would rather date somebody who lived closer and chose to go on another date but we could stay friend. there was a distance of about 2hrs drive between us... Fair enough. Let's move on.  Never heard from him after that. Until one day he said hello on msn.  Then he asked me if he could tell me about his date.  So I listened.  His date got drunk at the restaurant then she wanted to go to a strip club and once there started to bite him....and he said he had still the bruises.... I was so laughing.... then they took a cab and she gave her address.  She fell asleep in the cab and when they arrived at their destination she woke up asking what he was doing here and that she was living with her parents.... And I was still laughing... and I told him how funny that was... and I said to him: that's karma for you... we were supposed to go on a date and you chose not to....  whether it was or not, I am not sure but we decided to try ago and set another date. The date went really well. I really liked the guy and really felt content. Second mistake: get over your insecurities and just shut up! Not sure where it all came from.  This was my second date.  I had met a few guys in between but just for coffee and drinks, nothing major, nothing happened in those.  After just a few days  all these crazy thoughts came to the surface: how am I going to survive a long distance relationship? It started by a craving for affection... am a very affectionate person and maybe it was because it had been such a long time... I just could not see how it would work.  2hrs distance between us. I was not afraid of driving.  After all, I did that for many years by having to pick my step-children every single weekend and visiting the family every week...Our jobs: I was working Monday-Friday, off on public holidays, he was a shift worker so that mean he could be working 10 days in a row then have a few days off... not always on weekend... so might have been spending most of my long weekend on my own...  he had 50% care of his child so that meant in his time off he had to allocate time with his kid... so where would I fit?? Third mistake: honesty is good and I pride myself in being a honest person, but sometimes, maybe wait a bit longer before saying anything... don't rush, wait and see how things are going... And not being one who will hide how I feel I told him all of the above.... And had to agree with me!!!!!!!  And that was the end of the date.   I had no intention of coming to Australia.  In fact, all I knew of Australia was Skippy the kangaroo...  When I went on a date with my ex-husband who told me he was living in Australia, the only thing that impressed me was the fact he might be speaking English better than me lol  My plan was to save money to go back to London and then go to California.  That was my goal. When my ex-husband - boyfriend at the time - called me from Australia and ask me to join him there... forget about the nice apartment that we were so lucky to live in overlooking the sea in Nice... forget about the brand new furniture... I hang up the phone, called a friend: "I am going to Australia, I need to sell everything to pay for the ticket...." booked my ticket, applied for my visa and within 3 weeks I was in Australia! I did not to think about it twice, I just did it, all in the name of love of course... but I was quite pissed off at what I had just done with that guy. But in the end, everything happens for a reason... just got to figure out that reason...

Prisqua

About the author

Coffee in the mornings is a must! I hunt and shoot aliens as therapy a few hours every day. Work sometimes demands that I tweet, Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram. I never leave home without my 5 inch stilettos, iPhone and of course a possible good story.

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