title will come later

I have to admit i am not very proud of myself on this one.... I really feel like i fail myself. i rely and trust my instincts and so far I have never had any issues... until today... where i have to admit that I was wrong! Ouch! Actually it was not that bad to admit it! But that does hurt... I was wrong about one person I trusted and cared about. and I have to admit that it took weeks before admitting to my close friends that I was involved with someone online. It actually took hours for one friend to get me to even admit to whom it was... All because I knew what everybody else thought of that person... and it was not words of glory... so yes i was a bit embarrassed about telling my friends what was happening and especially when for some reasons the whole situation turned sore.... I believe everyone is entitle to their opinions even if you don't share them. If you don't like my friends well it is your problems not mine and vice versa. And it does not matter what you think of my friends as long as i don't hear it. But I will take a stand for my friends if I feel it is absolutely necessary... This is me, this is how I believe it should be and i don't really care how others do it or what they think... each to their own.... This was supposed to be between Rene' and I but it has now turned a public affair on Plurk so I have to tell my story. Rene' says there is no story: did I just dream what happened in the past couple of months?? Rene' Wasn't i sleeping in your bed for four nights in a row in the past couple of weeks?? Oh actually make it 3 since we had a fall out in the middle of the night and i decided to sleep on the floor in the main room... (no furniture and i am apparently high maintenance so that must be why...) and yes i was in tears and yes I had to call the one person who knows me better than anyone else and does NOT live in the USA! Maybe Rene' is right... that is not a story.... And now i am being blamed because I expressed how upset i was about being deleted from his friend's list.... yes i did email him and I waited 10mn for an answer before plurking... Did I call the guy names?? What on earth did I say that was so bad except being sad and heartbroken?? What happened next was beyond my control because I was not on the Internet... I could not read my plurks... Granted the plurk went out of control behind my back... I have a cell number that everyone interested knows.... it was as easy as calling me : hey Prisqua there is a problem.... and i could have taken the time to find an Internet connection or something... but no instead people prefer to fight and call each others name and my name get trashed in the process. i don't think that is fair but now I have to do some damage control. No we are not back in high school, this not gossip and no bitching, this is a story about how I fell for one man I met online and flew all the way from Australia to America to figure him out...