First of all, before going into my topic, let me share with you something that horrified me because I simply need to get it out of my system. I started to watch ‘60 minutes’ on TV last night, because I was horrified at what I was hearing.
Apparently, there was this boyfriend or husband, who kills his wife/girlfriend in a fit of rage, and then he blames the victim -who is dead- to wiggle out of justice. That is called the Provocation Defense.
By saying that his wife/girlfriend was looking for it by nagging or cheating etc., that is all the excuse he needs to get his murder charge reduced to manslaughter and to receive a much lighter sentence instead of spending the rest of his life in prison. One guy who killed his wife got out of prison after only 3 years and eleven months! I can’t begin to understand how a jury can even think it is right. Nothing a woman does could possibly justify these abuses!
Ok, so the TV was on, I was feeling empathy for these poor women, and all of a sudden, I was feeling something different. Because then came on the story about “trophy wives”, which in fact was about Samantha Brick –for those of you who are unfamiliar with her, she is a writer, producer, and journalist. I remembered her name because she made it to the newspaper when I was in London, and back then I thought it was funny how she thought of herself as a beautiful woman.
Granted, beauty is most likely on the inside. But Samantha Brick seems to think she is beautiful on the inside and outside! And so she goes on and on that other women are jealous of her good looks.
Sorry, but I had to laugh! Gosh, I wish I had that much confidence to say “I’m beautiful”, and even though I seemed to have quite some success with the male species, I would not dare think I am the most beautiful woman on this Earth. Nope, sorry, I still think that title goes to Angelina Jolie, followed by Megan Fox and countless of other women I think are really beautiful.
I like to peer on women and admire them occasionally when one deserves to be admired. There is nothing to be jealous of… OK, maybe just a little envy… I wish I could have Madonna’s arms! I wish I had Mylene Farmer’s cute butt… But Samantha Brick… she does not even have nice teeth, and I am not sure what curves she was talking about as she is as flat as an iron board! I could show her what curves are…
And she is happily married -or so she says- with a French man who records her weight! If she gains weight she loses her clothes allowance: WTF! All she does is cook his meals, a five course meal for lunch. For a minute I thought “wow, she must be a chef, at least I can admire something in her” but she did not elaborate on what the five course meal consisted of. But what I did picked up from the show was that one was a plate of cheese and ham, and another was a plate of charcuterie, and there was a salad… so it does not look like a much elaborated meal to cook. I wonder what kind of arrangements they have with sex…
To me, Samantha Brick’s marriage sounded more like those old people that marry young Philippine’s women.
I mean, yes, we women often get judged by how we look, and of course the better you look you might get better chances for some things, but it can also be a curse. Good on Samantha Brick to feel so good about herself and brag about it, but I think this is what others would hate: the arrogance. Just don’t say you are beautiful, Sam, because I don’t think you are!
And if I could give Samantha Brick the credit for the confidence to show what she believes, after listening to her I think she is just a plain dumb blond. But on the other hand, I’m pretty sure there are plenty of men who are looking for trophy wives. And I don’t think it has to do with beauty though. It is about power, and owning someone. And suddenly, it all seemed pretty clear to me that abused women have more in common with trophy wives than I had thought before.
In both cases, they stand next to men that don’t appreciate them for what they are truly worth. One kind of man hits and physically hurts women. The other kind of man exhibits them as if they were a personal property. They are treating their women as if they were not people, just ornaments. They dress them up, they wine and dine them only for people to notice how powerful a man can be if he is next to such a gorgeous chick… From my point of view, a trophy wife is, in some way, being mentally abused.
Ok, so women like Samantha Brick seem so proud of themselves in that position. Of course, we can think that this is all a mechanism of defense because of low self-esteem. If you are nothing but a trophy wife, how much can you think you are worth? If you need to convince yourself that you are beautiful –when it is so damn obvious that you are not- and that other women envy you, it is probably because you are feeling miserable on the inside.
While physically abused women end up beaten, hurt bad or even dead, mentally abused women (and here I’d like to include trophy wives because of what I had previously established) end up dead on the inside. If you don’t love yourself for what you truly are, then you have nothing. No matter how much jewelry you have, no matter how expensive your clothes are. So in the end, I’m feeling sympathy for poor ugly Samantha Brick…
What do you think? Are trophy wives mistreated in some way? Is it true that arrogance hides a low self-esteem?