March 30

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Essential Life Lesson: Over is Right, Under is Wrong

By Prisqua

March 30, 2010

life lesson, toilet paper

Essential Life Lesson: Over is Right, Under is WrongWe all have those little things that seemed to annoy the hell out of us… One thing that really bothers me when I go to the toilets is to find the toilet roll put up the wrong way!  My boyfriend does it, my kids do it, my ex-husband does it…  At first I thought it was because I am left handed and right handed people do not seem to have the same logic as me.

Thanks to the Internet, and for the people who have to argue with me about it, I finally found proof that I was right and someone is actually supporting my claim : there is a right way to hang the toilet paper, and a wrong way!


Toilet paper has a natural curve, a way of being that lends itself to certain orientations on the toilet paper spool.*(*Does that thing have a proper name?) If handled with skill and knowledge, it can provide an abundance of both sanitation and comfort, quilted together in each square of pillowy ply. If handled with clumsy ignorance, or worse, carelessness, it will beset the user with pain, filth, and frustration. Don’t let it end this way, with you curled on the tile floor of the stall, weeping in frustration, covered in wasted papier de toilette. To convince you, we’ve created some diagrams, harnessing the power of SCIENCE, to demonstrate the natural benefits of the over hanging method. First, we examine the optimal viewing benefits of the over hanging method.

Below are examples of the helpful and fruitful over-hung method on the left and the annoying and detrimental under-hung method on the right.
Essential Life Lesson: Over is Right, Under is Wrong

Essential Life Lesson: Over is Right, Under is Wrong

“Notice the dramatic difference in the amount of visible toilet paper. Ironically, it is the over-hung toilet paper that has both the most visible free sheetage and the least amount of sheetage free from the roll to do it. Now, this may not seem like a big deal on its own, but in these extra sheets lies your undoing. Observe.”

Essential Life Lesson: Over is Right, Under is Wrong

“We here at Current Configuration, for the purposes of ease and expediency, do the one-handed tear (okay, really, it’s just me, but bear with me, er, us). The one-handed tear is a quick maneuver that takes advantage of the perforated squares, allowing your bundle of toilet paper to be liberated with one quick swipe of the arm. This is the foundation of bathroom ease, the cottony bedrock on which enjoyment rests in the restrooms of many nations.”

Essential Life Lesson: Over is Right, Under is Wrong

“The one-handed tear relies on a quick and forceful motion directed either away from or towards the tear-er. The forces applied in this motion are great and, like the atom, are not to be trifled with. The natural curve of the over-hung method allows the roll to stand fast after a one-handed tear, but the under-hung method creates a calamitous tendency in the roll. This tendency can only lead to this:”

Essential Life Lesson: Over is Right, Under is Wrong

“Wasted paper, frustration, the destruction of our forests. While we realize that it is possible to execute a one-handed tear on an under-hung roll, this is a game of sanitary Russian roulette. You are bound to lose eventually, and there is no re-rolling an unwound toilet paper roll. The results will only cause you grief. Don’t let this happen to you. Restroom attendants, janitors, maids, facilities crews, and responsible toilet owners take note: Don’t use the under-hung method for your toilet paper rolls. It leads to the destruction of our precious resources and the pillars of civilization as we know it!”



And the best part: if you want to prove your point with someone who does not have access to the Internet for some incredible reasons, you can download and print the .pdf version Overhanging Public Service Hanger Brochure.


Prisqua

About the author

Coffee in the mornings is a must! I hunt and shoot aliens as therapy a few hours every day. Work sometimes demands that I tweet, Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram. I never leave home without my 5 inch stilettos, iPhone and of course a possible good story.

  • Mine does the same too and would not understand my reasons over my frustrations when I see the roll hung incorrectly. But thanks to this I now have proof to show him I was right all along. 🙂

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  • Oh my god! My boyfriend and I just had an argument about this earlier. He has the habit of putting the roll the wrong way too, and what upsets me more is when he would answer condescendingly, “it’s just toilet roll!”. Ha! Now I have proof. Thanks!

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