September 30


Why Do Older Women Dating Younger Men Judge Themselves So Hard?

By Prisqua

September 30, 2011

Celebrities, Cougar women, Older women, younger guys, younger men

Why Do Older Women Dating Younger Men Judge Themselves So Hard?Earlier this week, the news about a possible divorce between Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore reactivated an old debate about older women dating younger men. They are not the only couple in that situation: Madonna and Guy Ritchie were ten years apart, Oscar winners Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins were twelve years apart… their relationships were in the focus of every media, and so were their divorces! Is it possible for such a couple to last? We are not intending an age difference of a year or two, but a real significant 10-15 years, as in this case. Anyway, some people believe that the man should always be older, and by “some people”, I actually mean “some women”. Why do they judge themselves so hard?

Older Women Dating Younger Men

Take this friend of mine, for instance. She’s a beautiful, smart, independent woman who loves her ex-boyfriend, but she still decided to break it off because of the age difference (she is in her late 30s and he is almost ten years younger). One night we had dinner together and she explained me how great the relationship was, and that they even had talked about if she were ever to fall pregnant by accident he would be there to support her… I know, I know, well, we all know that men tend to say more than they mean… but what I find hard to understand is that my friend really wants to have a child, and sadly, her clock is ticking…

I have another friend who got pregnant by accident in her late 30s, and even though the guy told her to get an abortion, she decided to carry on with the pregnancy as she thought it possibly was her last chance… So why not live in the present, and forget about all the preconceptions of life for once?

Alex was telling me how he got his heart broken only once. “Aren’t you lucky?!” I said to him. Honestly, I cannot remember how many times I have had my heart broken. Probably way too many times, but the thing is, I do not wish it, but the fact that I may have it broken a few more times won’t make me stop dating. I am not giving up on the idea that I might one day find that other half with whom I might spend the rest of my days!

I know that for me it is easy to say, because I have already been married, I have two wonderful kids, a boy and a girl, so being in my late 30s is not really a big deal and I am all for the older women dating younger guys… But what I can clearly see now, is the difficulties you bump into when trying to find someone to share your life with, even if it is just for a short time. I mean, let’s face it, it would be terrific if someone could tell you that the next person you are going to meet is Mr. or Mrs. Right, but the fact is you might get your heart broken a few times before that eventually happens.

But, is it really about the chronological age?

Therefore, if you have something as special with someone as my friend did, knowing how hard it can be to actually get to that point, why do you have to find every single excuse to end it? I don’t buy the excuse that it was because of all the older women dating younger men thing… So what if he is younger? The way I see it, age is not really a factor as to why people break up or have an affair. My ex husband is 11 years older than me, and although it did not matter for the first 10 years together, today I feel like he is a 100 years old. Some people unfortunately really age badly, not that it does matter really if there’s true love. But not only he seems so old school now, but then again, I do not think I have grown up that much really… We jut grew apart, and there was 100 more reasons besides the age thing to make us go our own separate ways.

Conclusion: why older women dating younger men is OK

Lately, I have only been dating young guys so I’m perfectly fine with older women dating younger men obviously. I choose to live in the present, and try not to think too much about what is going to happen in the future. I could be hit by a bus tomorrow, right?

I think dating a younger guy connects you with your fun part, the part that really wants to seize the day and enjoy life. So my advice for all those older women dating younger men would be: stop judging yourself, just live and enjoy life! It is the only chance you have, no matter if you’ll live to be 100 years old!

How about you? Would you like to be involved in a relationship of this kind? Do you believe men should always be older? Why / why not?

Older women dating younger men, go for it!

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About the author

Coffee in the mornings is a must! I hunt and shoot aliens as therapy a few hours every day. Work sometimes demands that I tweet, Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram. I never leave home without my 5 inch stilettos, iPhone and of course a possible good story.

  • As long as it works for the two individuals, the age difference should not matter. Who cares what others think as long as someone makes you happy. Thanks for the post.


  • As Just turned 26 y/o attractive male with an education and high paying Career in the Computer security and Information Technology Field with 10 years of experience and a Jack of all trades guy, I have just found my self dating a Woman that is 14 years older.

    This is exactly what I wanted in a friendship and in a relationship. Meaning were talking and helping each other, having great time laughing sharing stories and connecting with affection. The qualities in a woman I look for is very hard to find today in women around my own age. Their either Floozie’s, married, Divorced, have children, taken, immature(just wants the next party), or just a down right cold hearted cheaters and a liers.

    I find that mature women don’t use you for your money because they have there own, Drive really nice cars, very Smart, Dress really well. They don’t manipulate and trick you to empty out your savings account for a promising future that does’t happen. Sad to say Girls around my age Just do not have what it takes to be with a nice attractive, charming, smart man who has done pretty well for himself so far and continues to expand his empire and future.

    The Lady I am seeing seemed depressed at first but with my good confident looks and charm I see her smiling more and more every day, showing more and more affection. and I have to agree, its bringing out her younger self. We watch a ton of comedy and go to comedy clubs we do a lot together, wine tasting, you name it were doing it and she is having fun and i am too. age shouldn’t matter or worry about if the connection and compatibility is very strong. and on a final note, making love, has been amazingly indescribable.

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