Yesterday was a good day because I received a text from one of my closest friend. I often refer her as my angel because of the way we met. We have been friend for a number of years now and I had not heard from her since the beginning of the year so when I saw her text, tears came rolling down my cheeks as I honestly thought she had finally forgotten about me since we live away from each other. And she is such a precious friend…
She had no idea about the great job I had then lost, about the great boyfriend I had then lost, that I had to move out of my little mansion to a house where my fridge canâ€™t even pass through the doors so it has to stay on the patioâ€¦ and so on so onâ€¦
But her main worry was the fact that I was in Sydney, by myself. She actually offered to pay for my ticket to fly me back home lol she is a sweetheart 🙂
I explained to her what had happened since the last time I saw her and that being in Sydney was probably the break I needed to get my life sorted, time to think about myself and analyse everything that had happened. Of course third party opinions are always welcome 🙂
On Sunday night, Paul said to me that I was not giving away anything and was probably sending out the wrong message when going on a dateâ€¦ Well that explains a lot now!!! And my Angel agreed: â€œI have seen you argued with Patrick (ex-husband) 100s of time but you never actually expressed how you feltâ€¦ I am probably the only person to whom you will express your feelings, I have never seen you talk to anyone else like you talk to me, so how are they supposed to know how you feel if you donâ€™t actually say it?â€ Ok, point taken.
From a conversation with a guy on msn, he said that maybe guys were intimidated by me. And yes I also used to think that and as my personal message at some point on msn I was using words from a Veronicasâ€™ song: â€œDonâ€™t try to hate me coz am so popular. Most guys I dated got intimidated so now I date up.â€
Now I actually think that I am the one who is actually intimidated especially if I like the guyâ€¦ and although I am not entirely sure but I think that is what happened with Mr Navy Guyâ€¦ 🙁
It is not an unbreakable barrier though as for instance I would not have gone out with Chris if he had not made the first move. Not that there was anything wrong with him but i do know myself -sometimes… lol Of course I still need some sort of connection for anything to happen further and I donâ€™t know if he just took a chance with me thinking I might slap him or he just knew that I would positively respondâ€¦ and am glad he did…